The Struggles of a New Build Home: Keeping Perspective

I realized something the other day...

In the 8 short months we have lived in this beautiful new home, I have gone from being in awe of our new home to being overwhelmed and frustrated every time I walk into a room.

This time last year, I was constantly wiping a chipped laminate countertop that never looked clean.

This time last year I was scrubbing a shower stall that was scratched and losing it’s rubber lining.

This time last year I was counting down the days until we could walk into a house that wasn't a sea of ugly brown tile missing pieces of grout.

This time last year I was reminding myself that soon I would be able to change the things in our home that weren’t working for us.

This time last year I was counting down the days until we we homeowners again.

And I was really excited for all the plans we had for the new house. I felt thankful that this was going to be our home. And so, so grateful.

And this week, as a bunch of things piled up...

As I realized that painting the entire first level meant that the house had reached an unacceptable level of untidy and dirty...

As I couldn’t handle the fact that chalk painting my kitchen table didn’t turn out as expected...

As I realized that I have almost no time until school is out and the kids are home all day…

As I realized that I have been a totally distracted mother…

As I realized there just aren’t enough resources to do all the things that “need” to be done...

As I realized that I’m not actually having fun with any of these projects that I wanted so badly and have so been looking forward to...

I realized I’ve gone from being grateful for just getting to call this place home, to frustrated and stressed out that the house still doesn’t look the way I want it to.

In other words, I have lost perspective.

Naturally, I feel like shit about it. I berated myself for no less than a full 24 waking hours.

I mean really. These are good “problems” to have. And somehow I have allowed myself to feel so negatively about them.

So I’m stepping back. Slowing down. And trying to remind myself that the journey is the destination in the world of home improvement.